Chapter 4

When someone stubs their toe, a common reaction is to ask if they need help or how they are. It is easy to empathize with a person in a situation like this. Many of us have been there and we know how it feels. It is an outward condition that is easy to respond to and understand. Mental health, however, is a bit trickier. Mental illnesses are invisible. It is sometimes hard to understand why someone is acting unwell when there’s not a visible cause. As a result of this difficulty, stigma arises. The stigma behind mental health treatment is why many people do not seek help when they are feeling unwell. When I first began struggling with my mental health, I hid it from a lot of my family and friends out of embarrassment. That led to a lot of pain and isolation that could have been avoided had my experience been normalized. 

It is time to decrease the stigma around mental health challenges. We all face them, to some degree or another. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you’re struggling. It is better to ask for help than let things escalate. Struggling is normal, it’s okay to feel unwell sometimes. The most important factor here is how we deal with it. 

There are many ways to help improve our mental health. One of which is harnessing the power of coping skills. A coping skill can be as simple as just doing something to distract momentarily from the problem. Some people read, knit, play video games or paint. Exercise is also a good distraction skill. People also reach out to friends and family to hear what is going on in their lives instead of focusing on their own situation. I have found that to be helpful personally. Connecting with people helps you feel less alone, which can help with the pain that you might be feeling.

It is also a good idea to reach out to a therapist. Therapists can help us work through our concerns and struggles in a way that friends cannot. They have an objective outside perspective. Therapists can often see what the root of the problem is and help address it. In the beginning of my struggles, I feared going to therapy. It ended up being one of the best things I ever did. 

So what would I like the world to know about mental health? That it’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to be in pain. Just don’t let fear stop you from getting help. Working on your mental health is one of the best things you can do for yourself. 

Best Wishes.

Marilyn Rose

Chapter 3

When life gets busy, it is easy to forget to make time for ourselves. One thing that people lose track of as demands of life take over, are their hobbies. Hobbies, however, are incredibly important for our mental health. For a long time, while I struggled with my own mental health, I forgot to take time to do activities that genuinely brought me enjoyment. Hobbies are different for everyone. Some people enjoy playing games or reading. Some of my personal hobbies include growing orchids, building Lego sets and creative writing. I learned that an important part of mental health recovery is finding joy in life.

Now that we have come out of the holiday season, it is a good time to practice self-care. Building interests and mastery over those interests is a form of self-care. I have found that the more I get used to an activity through practice, the more I enjoy it. This might seem like a difficult endeavor, and in some senses it is. Building mastery over a skill takes time and investment. Sometimes it is hard to find that in our day. Yet we don’t need to learn how to paint or knit overnight. Maybe try practicing your skill an hour a day or even an hour a week.

It is also enriching to introduce loved ones and friends to our hobbies. I sent my mother-in-law and orchid for her birthday, and now we both grow orchids and share tips. Book clubs, creative writing groups and art classes are also great ways to practice hobbies in a social atmosphere.

So, this week, I urge you to think about some potential hobbies or maybe go back to one that you had in the past. Don’t worry about perfection, just try. I hope you all have a nice week

Best Wishes,

Marilyn Rose

Chapter 2

The beginning of the New Year is a time of reflection and celebration for many. Everyone has their own traditions and ways of marking the start of the next year.

Resolutions are difficult in the sense that they are hard to keep. We often set ones that are lofty. When those goals cannot be reached immediately it is easy to lose hope. When I was younger, I experienced a deep depression. I slept late and had difficulties engaging in my activities of daily living. With the help of my therapist at the time, I decided to try and do a tiny thing each day that would help progress my goals. Perhaps that would be as small as taking a shower or waking up on time, but having measurable goals helped me feel better. Eventually I began functioning. I was able to get a job and drive a car, two things that I had struggled with in the past.

I bring up these personal struggles, because I believe reflecting on them is useful this time of year. Try to set small goals for the new year. If you desire to exercise more, for example, try going for a walk twice a week. Don’t immediately sign up for a gym and commit to going five days a week. If you’re not used to going to the gym, it will be hard to build the habit right away. Eventually exercise will come a bit more naturally, and you can build on that.

One stormy New Year’s Eve, I found myself alone with no one to celebrate with. I was very upset but decided that I would begin a new tradition for myself. I wrote a letter to myself that I would open the next year with all my resolutions and hopes. I have continued to practice this tradition every year since. My life has changed a lot since that New Year’s Eve in my early 20s, but the practice endures.

This week, try writing yourself a letter to read in 2025. If anything, it will be interesting to see where you are in a year in comparison to where you thought you would be. If that’s not a tradition that resonates with you, try something else! Try some self-care or spend time with family to ring in the New Year.  Happy New Year’s to all.

Best Wishes,

Marilyn Rose

Chapter 1

Welcome to my musings! The goal of this blog is to provide a peer perspective on some of the topics in counseling. I’m reflecting on what I would like the world to know about mental health. Here are some of my thoughts. 

Sometimes the holiday season can be stressful. Trauma, anxiety, and stress can bubble up to the surface. Buying gifts, for example, can bring up issues of financial insecurity. Sometimes interacting with family that you do not see often can cause emotional strain. I personally have experienced great losses in my life and holidays bring up memories of loved ones who have passed. It is important during the holidays to not only prioritize family and friends, but also yourself during this time. Think about things that you can do for yourself that are relaxing or distracting. When dealing with stress, it can be hard to stay emotionally regulated. Dysregulation can happen quickly for those of us with anxiety, trauma, or other mental health challenges.

In my experience, emotional dysregulation begins slowly. Noticing that it is occurring when it begins, and implementing self-care strategies can be essential to maintaining mental health.

Some of my self-care strategies include listening to music, spending with me with my dog, and going on walks. I also know that many people enjoy meditation or exercise to destress. It is not always possible to manage emotions in this measured of a way. When stress or anxiety are very high, it often helps to employ other strategies. I like to journal my feelings or try creative writing during these times. It can also be helpful to distract from emotions by reaching out to a friend or family member. If none of these strategies work and emotions are too much to bear, it might be necessary to reach out to your therapist. If you are feeling like you could be a danger to yourself and others go immediately to the nearest emergency room or call 911.

The goal of treatment is ultimately to help you begin to feel comfortable using coping skills immediately when emotional dysregulation begins. I know this isn’t always possible, but with practice it will become easier. What helps me is to keep a list of strategies that work with me so that I can check it when I’m feeling unwell and start to try them.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season, but it’s understandable that you might not. It’s okay to feel lonely or stressed out! Take care of yourselves.

Best Wishes,

Marilyn Rose